I am so....not sorry.

This dare is a both big and small.



This dare is so big it could alter the fabric consciousness if it were to spread far enough. Yet, it is also as small as the flap of a butterfly wing… it is a quiet warrior of a dare.It is harder than you may think and has more impact than you can imagine…

We dare you to omit the word sorry from your vocabulary for an entire day.

Double dare: I dare you to omit the word sorry for a week- for a month…?

Giving up the word "sorry" is a hard dare. Fear Not. There are replacement words for sorry. We can thank my clever friend Szaz for the following public service announcement to help us with this dare.


The word sorry and all of its derivatives has been cancelled. SORRY

Replacement Options Include:

A) Surprise!

B) You're welcome?

C) Thank you


I have been testing out this dare for a few days now and I can attest that it is a sleeper hit. It is harder than it may seem at first. It maybe harder for some than others.This weekend with a group of friends, I practiced cancelling sorry. Some of the conversations that ensued were hilarious.

-          I threw up on your shirt… SURPRISE!

-          I ran over your foot with my bike!… You’re welcome??

-          I ate all of your olives!.... THANK YOU, they were so good.

We played with this for a long time conversing about what it would mean to omit “sorry” from your vocabulary. It would definitely have an impact on the fabric of meaning. If you accidentally bumped in to someone’s cart at the grocery story- surprise!.... challenged someone’s belief… you’re welcome?

The same day I wrote this, I accidentally forgot to tell a friend that I could not make it over for a movie night she invited me to. When I realized this, I felt awful. I could not say "Sorry", but I was naturally contrite. Because I couldn't say or use the word ‘sorry’, all I could do was own my part in it and tell her how I was feeling. The conversation went like this:

"I completely forgot to tell you I couldn't come to over tonight!   I hope you still love me... I love you!"

The challenge deepened my connection to the experience, and tell a rather- new friend how I felt.

 I am not saying on any level that I am against apologizing. I love apologies- I would even go so far as to say I crave them.  They are the verbal equivalent of “rinsing or showering” – if they are sincere. But...

“How would you change things if you couldn’t just say ‘sorry’?”

We would have to become more mindful around what we do and less eager to blame when there is no fault. Apology can be overused. We tend to apologize for things we shouldn’t be sorry for. We can even an unconscious energy of apology simply being or getting basic needs met . I am sorry Ineed help… I am sorry I can’t do this alone.  Being apologetic can block us from getting what we want- or feeling that we are worthy of it. .


"Sorry" can be dangerous. There is a hungry, clumsy energy that hovers around this word sometimes. "Sorry" can also permit a certain carelessness that actually dismisses or passes over the truth behind an issue. I am proposing that we try to shake things up. Shake up the energy around apology with a little fast for apology.

  I am challenging you to give up the word for a few days to stir up new energy in your life. While you are at it, get clear on where you feel apologetic and have nothing to be sorry for, it will create space to clear on where you truly need to seek forgiveness and where you do not.


So tell me…

What are you not sorry for? send me pics, journal entries, comments or essays at or even apply as a guest blogger sarah@souldaring.com

Also be sure to check thecommunity folder for participants notsorry pics.

Here are ten things I am not sorry for:

I am not sorry for having a human body

I am not sorry for being a female- and everything that goes with it

I am not sorry for having an impact in the world

I am not sorry for needing help

I am not sorry for NOT needing help

I am not sorry for taking time for myself

I am not sorry for not having money and for having money

I am not sorry that I want to be ridiculously happy


matt chmielarczyk
miette notsorry
Sarah HopeComment